You Have No Life, You Should Get a Blog

“You should blog.”

“Everybody’s doing it.”

“If you’re a writer, you should be putting yourself out there.”

Come on, you’ve all heard these lines how many times? Hell, as a publisher myself, I’ve probably uttered them about a hundred times. Blog, blog, BLOG!

I fought it for a long time. I absolutely refused to give in to the peer pressure. I’ve never even tried pot, you want me to do what? Do you know what kind of effects blogging has on you in the long run?

And, let’s face it… a blog is a big commitment. You have to host it, feed it, show it love and affection. I’m sure there are many proud blog owners out there who bathe and groom their babies, enter them in contests, dress them up in reindeer antlers at Christmas and take cute pictures with them. But is it for me? I just don’t know.

And there’s so much freedom. It’s like college! Let’s face it, if given the choice, would you rather go to class or goof off with your friends? Same choice. “Hmm, what do I want to do with my free time tonight—blog, or watch porn?” I know which one I’d likely choose. And for those of you who don’t know me, it would definitely be the latter.

But, alas, apparently my mind has decided I have something important to say amidst the constant noise of this world. Really? Donald Trump is trying to offend his way into the Oval Office right now. Do we really expect people to choose my vapid pontifications over his? I think not. Especially since I lose the battle of rat nest hair. Well played, Donald. Well played.

So, here I am, owner of a slobbering, bouncy, shiny new blog. Now what do I do with it? I probably won’t read the instructions because, let’s face it, I’m a man—not my forte. When faced with such dilemmas these days, I usually lower my head and run right on in, naked with my hair on fire. It may not be world-shaking, but it will at least be entertaining. Join me for the ride?


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